gotta throw one together every once in awhile

it's early in the day and I feel late
need to get in my car and drive fast and far to get somewhere I've never been
somewhere I don't plan on going again
somewhere I don't plan on going to now
just make plans
play games in my head
I-M-A-G-I-N-A-T-I-O-N
the older I get the less surprising I find myself
in retrospect I don't know if I've ever been a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy
I can remember a time in my life when I had to have plans on top of plans
lists on top of lists of things to do, always something to accomplish
couldn't leave the house without a specific route and a back up plan for any and every obstacle
I then got married and all those lists went away
it was a gradual process because there were much more important things going on than me
you give up yourself for your kids and my wife knows this more than I do
but I still feel like I'm late to a party that hasn't even been planned yet
not frustrated
not irritated
I'm on the edge of my seat